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The 2017 World Series: Who Has the Edge?

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The Edge?

No, not THAT The Edge, you ape! He just plays guitar for U2!

And then there were twooooo! Owoogah, this stuff is over the top exciting!

It’s been a long, hard season for these two clubs, folks. They’ve battled and battled and have risen to the frothy top of the soda-like MLB landscape. For somewhere between four to seven games, these two teams will go head-to-head in all out, balls to the walls, last man standing, Coca-Cola sponsored cage match – to the death - and until someone is dead!

Alright, maybe not to the death but it will still be neat to watch for a variety of other reasons. Some of those factors will play into who we think has the edge in this series and some will not. But most of them will because, as we all know, it’s flash and glamour that count in this sport.

Here are our top inputs into who has the edge in the 2017 World Series.

Prior World Series Appearances

  •  These two clubs couldn’t be much different as far as history goes. The Dodgers are a long-lasting, storied franchise that has been engrained into both coasts of the US at one point or another. Meanwhile, the Astros are newcomers (generally speaking) that can’t even decide whether they are in the National or American League. The Dodgers have 19 appearances as a franchise in the Baseball Galactical Championship (World Series, for short) and the Astros have just two. The Dodgers have taken home the Commissioner’s Trophy (hand it over, Manfred) 6 times and the Astros never have (wah wahhhh). Clearly, this is the classic battle between veteran and newcomer…So we’ll give the edge to the Astros. We think beginner’s luck is an absolutely real phenomenon.

Beardular Presence

  • Obviously, this is one of the most major factors that can play a part in any baseball game. Wicked hooks and mighty swings are great and everything but the everlasting power of the beard is eternal. So, then, why not pit the two most formidable beards on these clubs against each other, right? Innnnnn the blue corner, standing fiiiiiiive inches off of his face, weighing in at eight hairrrrrs per square inch, Dallas Keucheeeeeel’s Beardddd! Innnnnn the red (for soon to be obvious reasons) corner, standing seven inches off of his faaaaaace, weighing in at seven hairrrrrrrs per square inch, Justiiiiin Turnerrrrr’s Beaaaaaard! Was that dramatic enough? Okay, good. Anyway, we pick Turner’s beard because it’s just silly how fluffy that puppy is – and it’s just so red! How! Advantage Dodgers!

Clayton Kershaw Effect

  • Hmmm, well yeah, okay, advantage Dodgers again.

Jose Altuve Factor

  • Yes, yes, significant edge to the Astros there, no question, sir.

Fans Being Fanatical

  • Everyone knows how important the crowd can be during a game. They can practically will the home team into a win with their energy – and suck the life out of the entire squad if things start to go poorly. For that reason, their presence will be important during this series. Let’s see, who has the more loyal fan base…Astros fans, lemme hear ya screaaaaam! *silence* Hmm….Dodgers fans, lemme hear ya screaaaaaam! *more silence* Oh, crap. I always get so engaged with my writing that I feel like I’m speaking actual words directly to the audience. Welp, advantage Houston, because we saw an Astros fan wearing batting gloves and a helmet during the last game we watched and that was hilarious.

Who has Captured More Lightning in a Bottle?

  • I’m going to be honest, I don’t really know what it means but I hear the guys on the television say it so I’m just going to repeat it. They always are talking about who can “catch lightning in a bottle?” But…Well, I’ve never seen anyone try to do that before? How would you even do that? I feel like maybe you could put a piece of metal into the bottom of a Mason jar and kinda sit there and wait for lightning to strike it? And then put the lid on really fast? But the lids are metal so the energy would get out or something, I think?...Well…I guess if I had to pick someone that has lightning in a bottle it would be Kike Hernandez. He has to be getting all that energy from somewhere. Or maybe Kenley Jansen because, if I could see anyone having Zeus-like abilities on either of these clubs, I would pick him. Guess we’re delivering the last edge to the Dodgers. All hail Zuesley Jansen.

The Final Score: 3-3

Uh oh, looks like a classic mix up! We only had six important points to deliver so it looks like a tie. Oh, gosh, how disappointing. And to think I had a prediction of “Astros win in six games” to deliver and now nobody will get to hear it. Looks like I don’t get to be wrong again like all of the other times. But I could be right still, technically, if the Astros do win in six. Just can’t be wrong if anything else happens. Nope, nope. So if that isn’t what happens nobody gets to make fun of me. But if it does happen, everyone has to shower me with praise! Yay!


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